I am so sorry. I am so so so sorry. I know that I'm an annoying little pest that's always cowering behind her problems and comes whinning to you. I am sorry taht I couldn't be the friend that you deserved, the one that was always there. My stubborness faltered when I needed it most and I am sorry. So so so sorry.
I know that the word isn't a wish granting factory but for this one moment, I'm going to pretend it is.
I wish your face didn't haunt me at night. I wish that I didn't fall asleep thinking about you, your smile and the boy behind it. I wish wish that I could forget you. I wish you could forget me, but I think you have already. I wish that I never had to talk to you again. I wish that I never had to see you again. I wish I didn't dream of you when I do sleep, and I wish when I don't sleep that I didn't spend all my time thinking of you.
I wish I didn't still love you.
I wish I was a better friend. I'm so sorry that I wasn't. I'm sorry that I let you down. I knew that you were always a lifeline for me, someone to talk to in the dead of the night. I hope that you don't miss me too much, I never meant to cause you any pain.
Sometimes I wish we never met. Sometimes I wish I never joined that RP so I maybe I would choose a different path in life, not be like this. BUt others I know that if I had never met you my life would be so much worse. I hate myself for ever thinking that.
I still pride myself in starting our names, but I think that you'd be better off without a Herondale. Just remind any wannabe that joins us, Jace is still mine.
You have been the best thing to ever happen to me, thank you for being a closer than close family, thank you for bringing me in, thank you for letting me become one of you. Thank you for all the support you have given me, thank you for every single thing you have ever done. Even the bad things weren't all that bad. So, thanks for everything I geuss.
Just a friendly reminder that I was crying(HARD) the whole time I wrote this.